Monthly Archives: February 2012

The Sutter

The Sutter –

So the bun on The Sutter is a cinnamon raisin bagel. Sandwiched in between this bagel is an 8oz burger patty, 2 pieces of bacon,  a slice of cheese, then atop the cheese is one waffle, drizzled onto the waffle is a very sweet maple Dijon and to finish it off, topped with an over medium egg.

That’s it you say? Well I am experimenting with The Sutter version Hungry-man! You get everything above but we are adding some things. That 8oz burger patty is now a 10oz patty consisting of ground beef and chorizo. You now add 2 sausage links split and layered flat and a layer of Scrapple. If that doesn’t kill you quicker, I don’t know what will. Pictures coming soon after I digest those two above and cook two more.

What’s up with the name The Sutter? Well it looks like it’s something a Sutter I know would eat. That same Sutter is in love with The Garbage Plate that represents their hometown. And this is my tribute to that well the Hungry-man version. They would probably say that this doesn’t compare but it is hard for me to deconstruct my burger and see it in that light so this will have to do. Also the maple syrup came from a Sutter that probably doesn’t even know I have it. And by chance if she ever finds out I do I would like to propose a trade. I will trade you some of my candles for more syrup. Here is a sample picture of 1% of my collection.

That’s over 100 right there. And yes I know I am a weirdo for having a candle collection. Oh, and a picture of the syrup I so desire.

Yummy. Well I’m done for this burger. It’s going to be a staple burger in my land of burgers. ( Who says retarded shit like this ). FIN.



New Blog

So… A new blog huh? Well my other one magically disappeared and it was a very sad day. I made this new one but didn’t feel much like writing because of the grieving over the lost post of old. But I see my partner in crime (Sheepgotoheaven) over there has been very happy to write here. So that’s a positive note.

How about this theme and background? Isn’t it weird and funky and awesome? I love it. It’s so random. The background is a one and only painting by Sheepgotoheaven with minor help from me Kotton. And I had to choose this theme, what is up with the heading pictures? It has three random ones, blue, green and red with a random picture on all. I picked this because I am random. I am not sure what my PIC (partner in crime) thinks about it, but as long as she can write and be angry I feel like it is okay.

So who I am you ask? Well I’m Kotton. I am random, I will pick up and move overnight, I am obsessed with hamburgers and want to open my own burger place. You will probably see a lot on burgers on this blog, hence the name. On top of that I love all food. So you get that as well. You also get very random rants, dirty words, and probably some post at 3 am due to me and my insomnia.

Have fun and enjoy reading all this mumbo-jumbo.  Also Sheepgotoheaven is a broke college student so that background painting is for sale, oh yea we went there. 200 bucks and it is yours and you will be supporting an education of a future chef. Check it out.



Those Weeks.

Ever have one of those weeks that just blows?

It’s like you get rejected from 15 jobs, you pull 14 hours at the school (on top of your normal classes) and then another 10 on your day off and you get dumped (or you dumped depending on the story) your 2.5 year relationship, and you’ve been sick for 8 weeks and it just won’t fucking stop? And on top of that you gave up on someone who was really special to you.

And then you wake up and you realize “hey, I’ve pretty much fucked up this whole quarter, there goes my GPA,”  and you get rejected from 10 more jobs, and your house just gets messier and messier and you’re washing your clothes in a bathtub because you don’t have time to get cash to get quarters to do laundry, let alone time to DO LAUNDRY.

And your cat hates you because every spare minute you have, you sleep.  And some random kid told you all about his horrible, horrible life for seemingly no reason, which just almost made you cry because it was so fucking sad and horrible.  And then at that moment you feel so fucking alone in the world you want to die, your laundry that’s drying on the radiator mixes with some magical breeze coming in the window and it smells like your best friends house from when you were in high school.  It smells like a place where you were always safe and always welcome and where you were loved.  So you text your best friend.  And guess what?  She just got dumped too.  And she’s taking it way worse than you.

So you comfort her and push all your shit aside.  And then you realize once again that you’re so fucking alone, but then your other friend calls you and is like “I’m so lost, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, I have everyone who’s around me,” and instead of saying “I told you so, and btw I feel like shit too,” you act like a good friend and you suck it up again and do the whole comfort thing and push your shit aside.

And then you go to a stupid expensive class that you hate and GUESS WHAT PEOPLE, YOUR OTHER FRIEND JUST FOUND OUT HER LIVE IN SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS CHEATING ON HER.  You’ve never seen this bitch so much as wince, and she looks like she’s going to cry, so you do the whole comfort thing again.  And then you get home and you’re just about to suck down half a bottle of NyQuil and slip into dream land when your phone rings.

Who could it be?  Someone texting you to tell you that you are wonderful and attractive and funny and witty?  Oh hell no, it’s another person texting you to tell you that they are unhappy with life.  Yes, they too would like some joyful words from the person who has a seemingly endless stream of joyful thoughts to spew out into other people’s heads.  So you spew some cheer over there.

And then finally, you realize “wow, a week has gone by” and then you just fucking cry.  You cry your little heart out.  You sob to the left and to the right.  You try out the fetal position for a bit, which is pretty nice.  You blow your nose on your blankets because you’re too fucking pathetic to get up to get a tissue.  Your cat is embarrassed for you, and leaves the room (how kind of him).  And then you stop, get up, smoke a cigarette, drink that NyQuil and move on with your fucking life.

Yep, it’s been one of those weeks.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I have been eating like a fucking king.  I ate $30 worth of sushi yesterday (it was all very good, from Mikawa) and then I ate Thai food today, and tomorrow I plan on eating at least 3 chili cheese something or others off of the Broad Street and Sansom food cart. (It’s my favorite, they’re friendly.  They let me put chili on everything).



The Thing About Philadelphia.

The thing about Philadelphia is that I feel like most restaurants here are trying to fuck me over.

Not in the normal way a restaurant fucks a person over either.  The normal way is like a symbiotic fucking over.
It’s like “yeah I’m totally going to over charge your for this, because I have to make a profit.  But at the same time, you’re going to think it’s delicious and you’re going to have a good time eating here.  And I hope you’ll come back in the future when you want to eat food you’re being over charged for.”

In Philadelphia it’s like “yeah, I’m totally going to over charge you for this, and because you’re in Center City I assume you’re a tourist or a knave so I’m SERIOUSLY going to over charge you and also use crap quality ingredients.”

No. No more Philadelphia, I call Bull Shit.

The days of consumers being powerless against you are over.  The days of having to trust a bunch of mostly corrupt food critics to tell you if a place is worth your time or not, done.

I just want you to know, Mr. or Mrs. Scum-Of-The-Earth restaurant owner, I personally have a twitter, a facebook, a grub hub, a seamless, a yelp, an eGullet, two blogs, a city-data account and somewhere (if I dug deep enough) I still have a myspace floating around.  Let me count the ways in which I will haunt your sham of a business… TEN.  It’s TEN ways.  (Or 11 if you count all the people I will tell in person about your shit hole).

I don’t care if every other person in the whole world thinks you deserve “like a billion stars for deliciousness.”  If you piss me off you’ll be burned in my mind forever as not even deserving one star made of poop.

Is this too harsh?  No.  No it isn’t.  I’m not talking about innocent offenses here.  I’m not talking about the delivery guy who’s 5 minutes late, or the place that’s packed on a Friday night and the server is running behind, or even the place where I order an unsweetened ice tea and get sweetened. This isn’t about the place that didn’t realize I hadn’t being waited on yet, or that forget the dinner roll with my pasta, or even the place that disregarded my explicit direction for “dressing on the side.”

I’m not talking about mistakes, or slip-ups, or the occasional bad dish.  I’m talking about big screw ups, the kind of thing where if I were a dumber person I might not realize, but because I do realize I’m pissed.  The kind of things where a place is just clearly lacking in quality of food and service and just does not give a fuck.  Where I can eat only one bite of my dish and they won’t even ask me if something was wrong with it, because they know why you didn’t eat it.  It sucks.  It’s shitty quality and they don’t care because they already got your money and there are a billion other poor saps in the world lined up behind you who know a lot less about food and whose pallets will be blinded by your special on margaritas anyway.

Just remember this for the future, Mr. or Mrs. Scum-Of-The-Earth.  Remember that we live in a media world now, and I am a media girl. Remember that next time you decide to send someone “tabouli” consisting of huge ugly chunks of mealy tomatoes, barley chopped parsley, and no bulgur wheat to speak of (Al Zaytouna). Think about it next time someone order Portobello fajitas and you bring them almost raw, oily sweet peppers and onions with no Portobello in sight (El Zarape).  And you better be thinking about it next time someone orders a chili rellano and you send them a pepper filled with cheese that isn’t even melted and that is breaded with the equivalent of greasy cardboard (The Mexican Post Old City).

I’m watching you, and I’m not afraid to tell the world that you suck and also to suggest to them a much better alternative to your crappy establishment.

If you are one of those alternatives, more power to you.  I’m sure I’ll be writing about you soon enough.

And that’s the thing about Philadelphia.


I found something to scrutinize already!

You’re probably feeling a mix of excitement and proud ness right now that mere minutes after posting my first post on a new blog I found something to pick apart cruelly.  I know I am.

Seriously though, I know this article is British, but I cannot imagine life is that horribly different over there for a college student.  Before we discus, please read.  Or not.  I’ll sum it up for you.

So pretty much the author of this article was like “wow, college students eat really crappy food, why doesn’t some one help them!?”  Which is ridiculous because there are literally hundreds of cookbooks, websites, and YouTube videos showing college kids how to “eat healthier.”  So if it could be done, it would have already been done.  Said article is in no way groundbreaking (although beans on toast?  Never heard of that before).  Also the author decided to say that college students subsist on take out, when the actual reality is more like ramen noodles and peanut butter (or jelly because who ever has both at the same time?) sandwiches. So the “cheap” list is automatically blown out of the water as far as “price point” goes.  My second big problem with this article is that many of the methods they teach for cooking things are just wrong!

But let’s talk about why MOST college students subsist on cheap one-pot processed foods and take out/fast food.

It could be any combination of the following:
1. They literally do not have time to eat because they are in college (this mostly refers to 1st year students and people with challenging majors, as well as people who are paying for their college out-of-pocket and work one or more job.)

2. They literally do not have enough money to eat because they’re: A. paying for school completely by themselves B. they’re paying for school with loans and didn’t take out a lot of extra for food C. books are really expensive.

3. They actually have plenty of time and money, but want to appear like the above two groups.  This seems like a unexceptable reason, but it isn’t.  I mean you live in a tiny dorm with a person who’s too poor to eat.  What are you supposed to do, bring home truffles and fingerling potatoes?

Also, some dorms don’t have cooking facilities.  At all.

So we’ve covered the logistics, let’s go through some of the really bad ones.

8. Soup
This one does make sense, soup is one of the cheapest things to make because you can put whatever you want in it.  However, if you do decide to make soup, know that is not the proper way to caramelize onions for french onion soup.

6. Mushroom risotto
This is seriously the worst one.  First of all, you’re assuming they have a kitchen knife.  Also, “risotto rice?”  There are several verities of rice that can be used for risotto and none is called “risotto rice”.  If it is then please don’t buy it.  And said varieties of rice are not cheap.  Also, making risotto is not “surprisingly easy” and that is most certainly NOT HOW YOU MAKE RISOTTO.  IF YOU EVER MAKE RISOTTO LIKE THAT AND TRY TO FEED IT TO ME I’LL THROW YOUR STICKY RICE MUSH IN YOUR FACE.  RISOTTO IS THE NAPALM OF GRAIN DISHES.

5. Toad in the Hole
Can’t get past the name enough to say anything.  British people are weird.

4. Boiled egg
As far as cost, this is great.  Too bad you just taught them a very incorrect way of boiling an egg.

3. Burgers
I was completely with this one until it said “heat the barbecue(or grill).”  That’s just stupid.  What type of college students are you talking about?  You’re stupid.

2. Fajitas
Again with the knife, and that much fresh produce is not cheap.  The author said in the beginning that they used “math” to figure out that all these recipes were cheaper than eating burgers off a cart every day.  Onion, red pepper, chicken breast, paprika, cumin, tomatoes, chilies, cilantro, cheese, sour cream, and guacamole not to mention salt, pepper, and oil.  No way is that cheaper than burgers.  Sorry “math,” you’re wrong.

In conclusion, young college students usually live in shitty dorms or shittier apartments.  They’re poor, pressed for time, and you can’t save them.


I Have Arrived!

I’ve had a lot on my mind as of late, and to wake up one morning and have your blog of current residence be just GONE, with no warning?  Horrifying.  But anyone with a blog knows that already.  The eternal fear that it will disappear.

Anyway let me start of by saying I most definitely did not pick this name.  I would never toot my horn so much as to call myself a hamburger or hot.  I’m sure my comrade will eventually post some sort of photo of one of us at which point you can decide which part of the title you think I am.

Anyway the main purpose (but certainly not only purpose) of this blog is to talk about food.  The way it tastes, smells, looks.  If it is treated with respect or dishonor. So on and so forth.  In honor of that, I’ll tell you about my most recent food experience.  It was 20 minutes ago and I ate cold leftover spaghetti out of the pot standing in my kitchen.  From here on out, I will most likely refrain sharing such enchanting stories in favor of sharing more interesting stories. But rest assured, no matter how famous or rich or fancy I might some day become, there will always been those drunken nights where I make spaghetti at 3 in the morning and leave it in the fridge, and there will always be those hung over mornings that I thank my drunken self for being so wise.

Furthermore, I have a cat.  And I’m not afraid to talk about him.

Also, I’m a semi-pretentious culinary student and I get pissed off a lot.  ENJOY!