Qdoba

I seriously hate Qdoba.  I hate it so much.  If you know me personally you’ve heard that rant at least once.  If not, get ready.

I hate Qdoba, and conversely I love, nay ADORE Moe’s Southwestern Grill.

Upon first inspection it seems like the two are very similar.  But if you’ve eaten at both, you know MOE’S IS WHERE IT IS AT.

Besides the fact that they have funny, witty names for their food, they also say WELCOME TO MOE’S every time you walk in the door.  I know they have to do it or they’ll get fired, but it still makes me smile.

Also, for each category (taco, burrito ect.) there is a meat/tofu option, a meat/tofu option with guacamole, a non-tofu vegetarian option, and a smaller portion option (and in some cases a “naked” option).  Besides that, you can literally get whatever you want on it!  They don’t confine you do a “type” of burrito (like fucking Qdoba).  AND they have better stuff to pick from!! Fresh shopped jalapeno, pickled jalapeno, fresh cilantro, fresh pico and or corn salsa, grilled peppers, onions, and mushrooms.  The list goes on and on!  Also, they have whole wheat tortillas.  AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT YOU GET FREE UNLIMITED CHIPS AND SALSA (with a minimum of 4 types of salsa available every fucking day)

Unfortunately, Philadelphia has no Moe’s.  What they have is Chipotle and Qdoba.

Now why I hate Qdoba.  It is essentially the cheap, ugly younger sibling.  You have to pick a burrito, and they don’t have a lot of toppings to pick from, and they get pissy when you ask for more stuff, and their rice SUCKS, and they SUCK at rolling burritos.  Also, chips and salsa cost money.  No fresh jalapeno.  Shitty guac.  Their sour cream is a liquid (?!).  I’ve never gotten a burrito there that I could actually pick up and eat, I always have to use a knife and fork (which I believe to be sacrilege).  Today, I just walked in and started telling them what I wanted and let them figure out what to call it.  And it was the soggiest grossest burrito I’ve ever had in my whole damned life.  It didn’t even taste good.  IT NEVER TASTES GOOD.  I SERIOUSLY HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE WITH THE SCORN OF 1,000 BURNING SUNS QDOBA.  DON’T USE THAT NAME IN MY PRESENCE EVER. I SHUN IT. FUCK QDOBA.

Always,
Sheepgo2heaven

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