Monthly Archives: June 2012

Night At The Movies

Night..to the empty desolate theater, where the voice echoes and the revolving, metal, glass door rumbles as the audience exits, the quasi-critics whispering what they liked about the characters and what they would have changed about the dialogue; how the lighting of the theater could have been dimmer and the speakers could have rattled a little less. The lone janitor enters the silence, where moments before symphonic sounds of strings and brass reverberated through the now empty chairs, and aisles. Now, the only sound is the sweep, sweep of the bouncing popcorn kernels and the subtle, forced rolling of the Mike and Ikes into his dust bin then emptied into the rolling trashcan with wheels that squeak, squeak, all the way to the backdoor, where he opens it, lights his Marlboro with the click, click of the lighter; and the iron door slams shut like prison bars, locking hours of entertainment inside. And our janitor puffs, puffs a few hits of his cigarette, slings the garbage bag over his shoulder, spittle slowly forming around the ring of the cigarette in his mouth. He tosses the hefty bag into the metal, blue garbage bin, grabs his jingling keys from the carabiner hooked to his belt-loop; gets his car keys as he reaches for another Marlboro and lighter and with palms full of keys, lighter and cigarette, he lights another, puffs, puffs, starts his car and drives off to rent a movie from Redbox.

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Barbaric Confederate And The Political Grandma Part 3.

  • Flower Cum

The moment you start typing what you are thinking. I found some interesting mayonnaise to try on some new burgers. I need to get to getting on the burgers.

Condoms are currently dancing on the T.V.

Anyhow, back to the subject at hand, random shit and a few band names. If you need to be refreshed on the band names, start from the beginning then make your way back here.

Academic Stoner part 1.  <— Click Me!

Clam Whistle part 2. <— Click Me!

Now that you are caught up here are some more names –

  • Incomplete Subconscious
  • Fetal Pulp And The Mexican Dazzle
  •  Rump War
  •  Misled Demise

What kind of world do we live in where paper beats rock. What the fuck! Cool band name though.

  • Paper beats Rock
  • Cluster Fuck of Weed Jars
  • Dead Hookers
  • Parking Ticket
  • Dirty Bong

Just kidding about the last four I was just typing what I saw around my room.

  • Ugly Yesterday
  • Excessive Nuts
  • Rustic Prisoner And The Switch

Enough names for the night. Got to go add these names to the fake band t-shirts and bumper stickers.

In the next series I will add the band names friends suggested on Facebook.

You know you’re high when you start putting whipped cream on your ketchup.

Ha! Burgers tomorrow.

FIN!

Kotton!

 

Clam Whistle Part 2.

Read Academic Stoner Part 1 before you read this one.

  • Lumpy Space Princess
  • Snow Gravy
  • Armored Zipper
  • Slim Sight
  • Hooker Transfer
  • Mobile Itch
  • Flushing Domination
  • Innate Stalker
  • Ageless Abduction
  • Mildew Coconut
  • Raised Asshole
  • Bagel of Doom
  • Vulgar Sunshine
  • Muted Helmet
  • Indifferent Winner and the Glorified Buckle

FIN!

Kotton!

Barbaric Confederate And The Political Grandma Part 3.

Sometimes we get too fucked up.

Chicken pot pie – my three favorite things.

  • Take a pack of dessert fudge pop-tarts
  • Toast the pop-tarts in the toaster
  • Take out your choice of ice cream
  • Put ice cream in between pop-tarts
  • Proceed to let your taste buds make love with the gods

I was driving back to my house with my friend and this really Noir-like jazzy song comes on. I instantly set the stage with, “1925, New York City, raining at midnight.” My friend starts to narrate a man sitting at a table with a lady in a restaurant with all of these awesome details in an old style voice. it was the coolest thing I’ve heard in a while. felt like I was driving in a black and white movie.

…Why the hell do clothes get wet? Wouldn’t it be the shit if you just stuck your sock in a lake and pulled it out completely dry? Pardon the raging boner.

Dirty joke : A vagina is like the weather. Once its wet, it’s time to go inside.

I woke up today, got out of bed, and just stood there looking at my bed. You might think I’m crazy after reading that, but I was thinking about what I would do if I happened to wake up in my bed right then after seemingly having woken up once already. That would be a first for me. I wouldn’t know what to do.

My Mind:

A wanderer.
It comes and goes.
A ponderer.
I’d like to think it knows.
Like keys.
Easily lost.
Like disease.
Great cost.
Like true love.
Hard to find.
All of the above.
My mind.

Talking to Strangers – A T.V. show I want to make. More about it later.

I was worried about putting that as the title but when I did, related articles had a similar title, well just the word fuck so I thought if they can do it so can I.

World’s First Stoners:

  • Caveman #1: Mmm, green plant smell good.
  • Caveman #2. Grunt grunt, mm maybe it burn well.
  • 20 minutes later.
  • Caveman #1: Grunt, me feel funny.
  • Caveman #2: We should make book about magical man who fall from sky and get nailed to cross. Just to fuck with people.

Note: My interpretation of a caveman is a lil’ rusty…

Enough with the random shit!

FIN!

Kotton!