The plight of a snail.
I think we need some more idioms and euphemisms, so, for the past month I’ve been making a list. I have no idea what they mean, any ideas for any of them could be pretty funny, see if you can get a little more creative than “Jerking off”.
- In fifty years, would people of our age still call it scrubbing the glass pony?
- She couldn’t believe her luck as she discovered him hiding the spindle.
- He spent every lunch hour at home, shocking the pumpkin.
- They were hoping the neighbors couldn’t see them trolling for the flounder.
- The last time I had this much fun, I was fogging up the tin president.
- From behind the curtain came the unmistakable sounds of spying on the legendary pudding.
- Cross-examination revealed that he had a great deal of experience tucking into the dragon.
- Shut the door! I’m inspecting the duck!
- Let’s just say I had a lot to learn about shaking the sweaty longshoreman.
- Will you stop laminating the smurfy Mexican justice?!
- I couldn’t believe my luck as she started phoning the bald-headed trouser lion.
- This unique and colorful custom is referred to as spell checking the rainbow whale.
- He was in the bathroom, retrieving the internal sauce.
- Needless to say, I promptly began shopping for the Swedish hamburger.
- Dude, he smoked so much he started inverting the lower Appalachian ballroom in front of his girlfriend.
- He was out on the beach, hammering the racist surgeon general.
- The film shocked audiences nationwide with its frank depiction of two men angering the great pocket eggplant.
- Halfway through the project, Ben looked like he had been holding the French taco.
- Oblivious to the crowd of observers that was forming, the couple resumed drubbing the flesh flute.
- I would appreciate his company more if he would stop busting the squid.
- One thing I could never figure out was how he kept his shoes on while filing the dungeon.
- He smoked saliva and started putting a kink in the Pop-Tart.
- Tosh.0 secretly throws the ol’ Nantucket husky on weekends.
- Like most guys his age, he wasn’t above icing the tractor!
- This is not an appropriate place for landing the sacred bishop.
- As the kids say, she was flicking the Chateau.
- Alone once again, she retired to the bedroom and began kissing the blazing sandwich maker.
- Guess what I’ve been doing? That’s right — hot gluing the hamster badger.
- Whenever I drop acid I can’t help myself from flogging the otter’s duck.
How high am I?
I just made a theme song to cookin bacon.
Fish can’t see water they swim in. Well technically they can. But they don’t know it’s water, that’s just what they’ve been in all there lives.
Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.
Open your eyes.
I’m to damn high!
Oh yea read this – The Unorthodox Outsider