Tag Archives: Arts

Barbaric Confederate And The Political Grandma Part 3.

  • Flower Cum

The moment you start typing what you are thinking. I found some interesting mayonnaise to try on some new burgers. I need to get to getting on the burgers.

Condoms are currently dancing on the T.V.

Anyhow, back to the subject at hand, random shit and a few band names. If you need to be refreshed on the band names, start from the beginning then make your way back here.

Academic Stoner part 1.  <— Click Me!

Clam Whistle part 2. <— Click Me!

Now that you are caught up here are some more names –

  • Incomplete Subconscious
  • Fetal Pulp And The Mexican Dazzle
  •  Rump War
  •  Misled Demise

What kind of world do we live in where paper beats rock. What the fuck! Cool band name though.

  • Paper beats Rock
  • Cluster Fuck of Weed Jars
  • Dead Hookers
  • Parking Ticket
  • Dirty Bong

Just kidding about the last four I was just typing what I saw around my room.

  • Ugly Yesterday
  • Excessive Nuts
  • Rustic Prisoner And The Switch

Enough names for the night. Got to go add these names to the fake band t-shirts and bumper stickers.

In the next series I will add the band names friends suggested on Facebook.

You know you’re high when you start putting whipped cream on your ketchup.

Ha! Burgers tomorrow.

FIN!

Kotton!

 

Clam Whistle Part 2.

Read Academic Stoner Part 1 before you read this one.

  • Lumpy Space Princess
  • Snow Gravy
  • Armored Zipper
  • Slim Sight
  • Hooker Transfer
  • Mobile Itch
  • Flushing Domination
  • Innate Stalker
  • Ageless Abduction
  • Mildew Coconut
  • Raised Asshole
  • Bagel of Doom
  • Vulgar Sunshine
  • Muted Helmet
  • Indifferent Winner and the Glorified Buckle

FIN!

Kotton!

Barbaric Confederate And The Political Grandma Part 3.

On November 24th, 1992…

I found two snowflakes that were exaxtily alike.

  • And I will not let it go!

Exaxtily retarded!

Exaxtily?

I was mixed on what to call this post. I had this idea and then had an idea about Awkwardness. Specifically while being high. If you are still reading this beware below it gets kinda raunchy and offensive. It’s me so fuck it.

I’ve been thinking back about hilariously weird awkward moments I’ve spent in my life I was extremely high. Why is this?

Some examples:

  • Seeing someone you knew from middle school, a teacher, church, friends parents etc.
  • You for whatever reason cannot understand a single word the clerk says at the register when you are trying to buy your munchies.
  • Your get asked for some change by a bum and he shakes your hand and it’s wet and weird.
  • You end up seeing your gf/bf when you “couldn’t” hang out
  • You fart an it wasn’t silent.
  • You fart and it was silent, but the smell is putrid, and your with only one other person.
  • You laughed at something very inappropriate.
  • You ate all the nachos.

I don’t know why it is! But fuck I’ve had some hilarious moments.. Too bad I can’t remember even half.

Then my couch friend chimes in:

  • My neighbor’s dog came after me when I was skating baked once. The neighbor was a real old lady and told me that her son used to skateboard and the dog used to love it until he passed away. I responded with “haha cool” and skated away.
  • Or when mom walks in on you jacking off in your mouth. Fucking embarrassing. Most awkward time at the diner table that night.
  • Or when you’re jacking into moms mouth and she wakes up.

That’s kinda fucked up.

You can never go too far when you’re talking on the internet.

Mayonnaise.

Is  mayonnaise an instrument?

Bong Hit!

Hmm, that’s a good question. Let’s find the definition for the word “instrument”

*puts on glasses and picks up book*

*flips page*

Ah “instrument”
Main Entry: 1in·stru·ment
Pronunciation: \ˈin(t)-strə-mənt\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin instrumentum, from instruere to arrange, instruct
Date: 14th century
1 : a device used to produce music; also : a singing voice
2 a : a means whereby something is achieved, performed, or furthered b : one used by another as a means or aid : dupe, tool
3 : implement; especially : one designed for precision work
4 : a formal legal document (as a deed, bond, or agreement)
5 a : a measuring device for determining the present value of a quantity under observation b : an electrical or mechanical device used in navigating an airplane; especially : such a device used as the sole means of navigating

*closes book*

So to answer your question it can be depending how it’s being used.

Fuckin high.

Man, I hate those commercials. “What would you do for a Klondike bar?”
… Walk to the fuckin freezer.

FIN!

Kotton!

Mother F’n Loco Moco!

Ah, the Loco Moco, translation: Crazy Snot. This is a staple fast food on the Hawaiian islands, if the internet is to be believed. The traditional food isn’t typically on a bun, it is loosely based on the garbage plate from Rochester, New York. Thanks Sheepgotoheaven. I wanted to put it on a bun and add a pineapple ring, yummy. Sticky rice, fried egg and pork gravy round out the rest of the burger and of course the burger patty. Enough of that right? On to the ramblings.

  • Mouse-trapping chickens.
  • I’ve got this furniture idea I am trying to figure out, I have some kind of creative block spell put on me.
  • Wait for it…bog hit.
  • I meant bong hit.
  • I’ve got this other random idea, nothing original but I want to have a restaurant bucket list as you already see in header above but I want to add other ideas to it to make it more public and socially helpful. Like different ways to add to the list and mark them off. If you have suggestions or additions feel free to let me know here. Also you can like us on Facebook and send your comments and suggestions there, it’s new and empty. Might as well get a Twitter and Email as well.
  • Defog is a word? Word Whomp pisses me off, it’s called defrost, hence defroster.
  • Bong hit.
  • I want to make 50 burgers that represent the states. Can I tie that in to the Bucket of Food? Oh I can and I will.
  • This post isn’t weird enough and doesn’t have nearly enough foul language so might as well end it now before something bad happens.
  • I feel like the weed I smoked was planted in dirt where a leprechaun died.

Do I usually end on a note? I don’t know, but I do like the ending of the Springer show.

FIN!

Kotton!