Chicken pot pie – my three favorite things.
- Take a pack of dessert fudge pop-tarts
- Toast the pop-tarts in the toaster
- Take out your choice of ice cream
- Put ice cream in between pop-tarts
- Proceed to let your taste buds make love with the gods
I was driving back to my house with my friend and this really Noir-like jazzy song comes on. I instantly set the stage with, “1925, New York City, raining at midnight.” My friend starts to narrate a man sitting at a table with a lady in a restaurant with all of these awesome details in an old style voice. it was the coolest thing I’ve heard in a while. felt like I was driving in a black and white movie.
…Why the hell do clothes get wet? Wouldn’t it be the shit if you just stuck your sock in a lake and pulled it out completely dry? Pardon the raging boner.
Dirty joke : A vagina is like the weather. Once its wet, it’s time to go inside.
I woke up today, got out of bed, and just stood there looking at my bed. You might think I’m crazy after reading that, but I was thinking about what I would do if I happened to wake up in my bed right then after seemingly having woken up once already. That would be a first for me. I wouldn’t know what to do.
It comes and goes.
I’d like to think it knows.
Like true love.
Hard to find.
All of the above.
Talking to Strangers – A T.V. show I want to make. More about it later.
I was worried about putting that as the title but when I did, related articles had a similar title, well just the word fuck so I thought if they can do it so can I.
World’s First Stoners:
- Caveman #1: Mmm, green plant smell good.
- Caveman #2. Grunt grunt, mm maybe it burn well.
- 20 minutes later.
- Caveman #1: Grunt, me feel funny.
- Caveman #2: We should make book about magical man who fall from sky and get nailed to cross. Just to fuck with people.
Note: My interpretation of a caveman is a lil’ rusty…
Enough with the random shit!
Posted in Kotton
Tagged Baking and Confections, blogs, Caveman, chicken pot pie, cook, cooking, dirty joke, dumb people, earth, Facebook, Food, Frozen, Fuck, god, healthy-living, Home, Ice cream, Jesus, magical man, Meat, New York City, Photography, photos, politics, Pop-Tart, random, religion, restaurants, travel, vacation
I found two snowflakes that were exaxtily alike.
- And I will not let it go!
I was mixed on what to call this post. I had this idea and then had an idea about Awkwardness. Specifically while being high. If you are still reading this beware below it gets kinda raunchy and offensive. It’s me so fuck it.
I’ve been thinking back about hilariously weird awkward moments I’ve spent in my life I was extremely high. Why is this?
- Seeing someone you knew from middle school, a teacher, church, friends parents etc.
- You for whatever reason cannot understand a single word the clerk says at the register when you are trying to buy your munchies.
- Your get asked for some change by a bum and he shakes your hand and it’s wet and weird.
- You end up seeing your gf/bf when you “couldn’t” hang out
- You fart an it wasn’t silent.
- You fart and it was silent, but the smell is putrid, and your with only one other person.
- You laughed at something very inappropriate.
- You ate all the nachos.
I don’t know why it is! But fuck I’ve had some hilarious moments.. Too bad I can’t remember even half.
Then my couch friend chimes in:
- My neighbor’s dog came after me when I was skating baked once. The neighbor was a real old lady and told me that her son used to skateboard and the dog used to love it until he passed away. I responded with “haha cool” and skated away.
- Or when mom walks in on you jacking off in your mouth. Fucking embarrassing. Most awkward time at the diner table that night.
- Or when you’re jacking into moms mouth and she wakes up.
That’s kinda fucked up.
You can never go too far when you’re talking on the internet.
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Hmm, that’s a good question. Let’s find the definition for the word “instrument”
*puts on glasses and picks up book*
Main Entry: 1in·stru·ment
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin instrumentum, from instruere to arrange, instruct
Date: 14th century
1 : a device used to produce music; also : a singing voice
2 a : a means whereby something is achieved, performed, or furthered b : one used by another as a means or aid : dupe, tool
3 : implement; especially : one designed for precision work
4 : a formal legal document (as a deed, bond, or agreement)
5 a : a measuring device for determining the present value of a quantity under observation b : an electrical or mechanical device used in navigating an airplane; especially : such a device used as the sole means of navigating
So to answer your question it can be depending how it’s being used.
Man, I hate those commercials. “What would you do for a Klondike bar?”
… Walk to the fuckin freezer.
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Tagged Arts, awkward moments, awkward time, blogs, burger patty, cook, cooking, Dictionaries, dumb people, earth, Facebook, Food, Fuck, god, healthy-living, hilarious moments, Home, Jesus, Latin, Meat, Online Writing, Pain, politics, random, religion, Shit, society, travel, two snowflakes, vacation, Vocabulary Lists