Tag Archives: society

Clam Whistle Part 2.

Read Academic Stoner Part 1 before you read this one.

  • Lumpy Space Princess
  • Snow Gravy
  • Armored Zipper
  • Slim Sight
  • Hooker Transfer
  • Mobile Itch
  • Flushing Domination
  • Innate Stalker
  • Ageless Abduction
  • Mildew Coconut
  • Raised Asshole
  • Bagel of Doom
  • Vulgar Sunshine
  • Muted Helmet
  • Indifferent Winner and the Glorified Buckle

FIN!

Kotton!

Barbaric Confederate And The Political Grandma Part 3.

On November 24th, 1992…

I found two snowflakes that were exaxtily alike.

  • And I will not let it go!

Exaxtily retarded!

Exaxtily?

I was mixed on what to call this post. I had this idea and then had an idea about Awkwardness. Specifically while being high. If you are still reading this beware below it gets kinda raunchy and offensive. It’s me so fuck it.

I’ve been thinking back about hilariously weird awkward moments I’ve spent in my life I was extremely high. Why is this?

Some examples:

  • Seeing someone you knew from middle school, a teacher, church, friends parents etc.
  • You for whatever reason cannot understand a single word the clerk says at the register when you are trying to buy your munchies.
  • Your get asked for some change by a bum and he shakes your hand and it’s wet and weird.
  • You end up seeing your gf/bf when you “couldn’t” hang out
  • You fart an it wasn’t silent.
  • You fart and it was silent, but the smell is putrid, and your with only one other person.
  • You laughed at something very inappropriate.
  • You ate all the nachos.

I don’t know why it is! But fuck I’ve had some hilarious moments.. Too bad I can’t remember even half.

Then my couch friend chimes in:

  • My neighbor’s dog came after me when I was skating baked once. The neighbor was a real old lady and told me that her son used to skateboard and the dog used to love it until he passed away. I responded with “haha cool” and skated away.
  • Or when mom walks in on you jacking off in your mouth. Fucking embarrassing. Most awkward time at the diner table that night.
  • Or when you’re jacking into moms mouth and she wakes up.

That’s kinda fucked up.

You can never go too far when you’re talking on the internet.

Mayonnaise.

Is  mayonnaise an instrument?

Bong Hit!

Hmm, that’s a good question. Let’s find the definition for the word “instrument”

*puts on glasses and picks up book*

*flips page*

Ah “instrument”
Main Entry: 1in·stru·ment
Pronunciation: \ˈin(t)-strə-mənt\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin instrumentum, from instruere to arrange, instruct
Date: 14th century
1 : a device used to produce music; also : a singing voice
2 a : a means whereby something is achieved, performed, or furthered b : one used by another as a means or aid : dupe, tool
3 : implement; especially : one designed for precision work
4 : a formal legal document (as a deed, bond, or agreement)
5 a : a measuring device for determining the present value of a quantity under observation b : an electrical or mechanical device used in navigating an airplane; especially : such a device used as the sole means of navigating

*closes book*

So to answer your question it can be depending how it’s being used.

Fuckin high.

Man, I hate those commercials. “What would you do for a Klondike bar?”
… Walk to the fuckin freezer.

FIN!

Kotton!

Academic Stoner! Part 1.

No I’m not going to sit here and bore you with my academic accolades as a stoner, you don’t want to read all of that, it’s a long list. Sorry if I forgot to tell you I’m a genius.

Anywho, Academic Stoner is a band name I came up with. I have a slew I jot down every now and then and thought I would share some with you. Part 1 means I have a shit ton of names. Enjoy and feel free to share yours with me bitches. I’ll give you 15 in each part.

  • Crisp Worm
  • Coalition Of The Digestive Goggle
  • Pyramid Yogurt
  • Sexual South
  • Long Aftermath And The Apologetic Fusion
  • Entertainment Of The Uprising Gnat
  • Broiled Priest
  • Motivated Mediocrity
  • Moldy Glimpse And The Horned Tragedy
  •  Right-wing Of The Incoming
  • Typical Ordinance And The Deaf Path
  • Snatch N’ Sniff
  • Adult-oriented Kneecap
  • Lubricated Patriot
  • Angst’n’Ankhs – Egyptian Emo Band – ha!

I’m high and River Monsters makes me want to fish the world.

FIN!

Kotton!

You get what you got! Shit! Ha!

Next one in this series is Clam Whistle Part 2.

Trayvon Martin Rant!

Just like everyone else I have an opinion on this subject, but as everyone knows me, my thought’s come from left field and will be offensive. So, if you don’t want to be mad and hate me then stop reading. This is your final warning, it will make your blood boil but as it’s my blog I don’t care what others think, so here goes.

Let’s start off with a few thoughts and notes:

  • Someone told me tonight my people killed this kid.
  • I honestly don’t care about this case and I’m not sure why this is as big as it is.
  • Jesse Jackson is ignorant when he speaks.
  • Geraldo Rivera is ignorant when he speaks.
  • Playing the race card is ignorant.
  • 5 to 8 thousand people marching in my current city, Philadelphia for this  is pretty dumb and cost the city money they don’t have.

Let’s touch on these first.

My people? Who? Europeans? I’m white. They, the media doesn’t even know if this fellow that killed the young kid is White, Hispanic, or Latino. As a matter of fact little is known about this case. People throw random fucking statements out there and a reporter gets a hold of it and throws it out of proportion. Then a few people read the article and recycle it but with a twist so now new things are added, then, boom, political figures and big business get involved. What the fuck is wrong with society?

I also read an article where Jesse Jackson said, well he said a lot but mostly bullshit, if you want to read the article click link : Bullshit! I have never understood his and others positions on African-American struggles in America.  Also Jesse and other’s only put their two cents in when its a race issue. Why don’t they speak up when it’s black on black crime? Or when it’s black on white? It must not exist to them. 90% of the murders in Philadelphia are black on black. Where are you Jesse? 2 – 6 murders a day in this city, explain that away. I’m tired of hearing the same ‘ole excuses.

Geraldo said Trayvon would be alive if he didn’t have a hoodie on. Shut the fuck up, nuff said.

I touched on the race card above, but I think it’s dumb to automatically run to that. I didn’t elaborate on the black on white crime in america that typically flies under the radar. I have a shit ton of examples:

  • Just this week 2 16-year-old black males set a 13-year-old white male on fire and stated you get what you deserve white boy.
  • How about in my hometown in Virginia, 4 teenage black males beat an 88-year-old white man to death to impress girls.

There is also black on black crime that flies under the radar:

  • In West Philly a few black males shot into a house that was occupied by African-Americans, a toddler was shot. There was 30 witnesses and no one saw anything.

I’m only going to give that example because it’s sends me on another rant about a rule in urban Philadelphia, No snitching! Are you fucking kidding me, a toddler was shot and everyone is scared to say anything to police for fear of being shot by their own people. I witness this rule everyday. My neighbors sell drugs all day everyday, I live on third floor of a house, on the bottom floor an African-American police officer lives and knows and doesn’t say anything. Also I’ve seen her significant other sell drugs.

As for the stupid ass marchers, ever since occupy movement started people think a march will cure everything. You shut down roads and cost city money but bitch when they take money from other programs. But my question is why don’t you march for that toddler or the kid that got set on fire or how about the old man beat to death? What about the kids subjected to my neighbors? How about taking a different approach? Why not march for a better education system and a social service program to teach parents how to be fucking parents and teach kids the right path, black and white. Don’t forget to march for the 17 people killed by one of our soldiers overseas, or do we not care about that kind of stuff anymore? Americans need to hit the reset button.

Also, now there is a debate over gun laws and other laws about personal property and safety. Don’t forget hate crimes. I tell you now I think everyone should either have guns or no one has guns. And since I don’t think the latter will ever happen I suggest you arm yourself. I live in an unsafe neighborhood I walk everywhere with a weapon and will not hesitate to use if I feel threatened. I live in a heavy crime area, just tonight in a 4 block radius of my home there was an assault on a police officer, a forced burglary, a rape, 2 robberies with handguns, 7 thefts, and three vehicle thefts, all by African Americans as the commiters. Someone call Jesse and the marchers, oh wait race isn’t involved. They will use the excuse  institutionalized racism. Whatever the fuck that means.

I’m also tired of the law “Hate Crime“. We have laws on the books for attempted murder, murder, and other crimes that now have an escalator to a hate crime.
If I murder someone, I suspect I did so for some kind of hate. Even if it was meant to be for my financial gain. This is more of the “fairness,” doctrine at work. Where we start off not keeping score at junior’s soccer game and “level the playing field,” until we raise people who are inept. I have a theory. Our society as Americans have enjoyed so many new age conveniences that we have too much leisure time and therefore sit around and think about esoteric ideas like making our children kinder and gentler instead of trustworthy and industrious.

I’ll wrap my ignorant ass rant up, if everyone else can be ignorant so can I. This is my Jerry Springer Final Thought.

“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”   John Adams (1770)

In this tragic case, we are presently long on emotions, but short on facts.  It will take at least a few weeks, but the facts will come out.  The neighborhood watch guy either acted reasonably, or he didn’t.  It was either self-defense, or it wasn’t. The neighborhood watch guy was either injured in a scuffle with the deceased, or he wasn’t.  The “stand your ground” law either applies, or it doesn’t.  Too much disinformation from both families to know at present.

When the facts come out, no one who has prematurely invested in their speculative positions will be pleased.  And no one is served well in this media frenzy over what is really a sad case that may or may not be a crime.

Fin!

Kotton!