Tag Archives: weight-loss

Want a ride on the brain train?

So not a lot of writing has been going on here versus the old blog. I blame it on sadness. I am still sad about it being deleted, I had so much random shit there that I loved. It was a piece of me.

I had a whole blog post planned out and written in my head but my partner in crime called with an amazing story, something that had to do with ground-up goldfish crackers, blood, and a blind hospital I think. I hope there will be a post about that. What would make that post the greatest would be if they used a good amount of fucking bad language. I can only hope for it.

  • Then bourbon and pasta happened.
  • Then a couple bong hits happened.
  • Then more bong hits.
  • Then more Pasta.
  • Then Facebook and Twitter, oh and Google+.

Now my sleep deprived mind doesn’t remember what I was going to force on to the blog, but now I think I found my writing hidden beneath what some would call sins.

  • Booze.
  • Bongs.
  • Eating after midnight.
  • Addiction to social media.
  • Someone once told me Insomnia was of the devil.

The sins if you were wondering.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, i can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and i cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. i am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in peru.

That sentence my friends would be my introduction paragraph if I was to put an ad on a dating site like e-harmony. It’s also probably a sin. I don’t like the thought of endless emails, that’s the only reason a dating site ad hasn’t happened.

What? Who wouldn’t fall for that?

Want to read something creepy? Here is a ride on the brain train of thought, don’t forget it’s creepy.

I like the way she eats sandwiches
Is that odd, am I strange?
I know I am a stranger, though we did exchange glances
My bland life offers nothing that could compete with that sandwich
I’m too much lettuce without any zest, no oils and vinegars
No sweet nectars, no tasty meats, just plain ole me

I like the way she eats sandwiches
I got lost in the moment as time crept on
I could watch her eat for hours, but the food would never last
She may have smiled at me
I may have imagined her smiling at me
Nevertheless I like the way she eats sandwiches
She neither nibbles nor chomps
It is an art, and she is a master of her craft

I would like to sit and eat sandwiches with her
I’d vow to do my best for her sake, for my sake, for our sake
Eating sandwiches can be difficult
Sitting across a table with beauty Webster yet has words for
A beauty who knows her way around pickles and cucumbers
Knows the route through tomatoes and banana peppers
and the grains of whole wheat bread
She takes another taste and mayo trickles down her lip
She reaches for her napkin and kisses it gently
She is as flawless as before the first bite
I like the way she eats sandwiches.

Creepy right? I may use “Want a ride on the brain train” as my catch phrase, just putting it out there.

I feel this post has reached the level of “what the fuck” and randomness I was looking for. Also the deer on the door won’t quit looking at me. It’s starting to scare me so I got to go.